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Accomplishments, Big and Small – Diabetes Blog Week 2013

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I spent the decade following my diabetes diagnosis hating diabetes. I did not ask “why me” or feel sorry for myself, I just hated diabetes.

However, hating diabetes made me hate myself.

I was diagnosed as an adult and I thought I knew who I was. Unfortunately, who I was, was wrapped within the commercial sense of “love yourself”, because “you are worth it”.

You know, like the TV commercial that tell you to reward and indulge your successes and good deeds. I grew up equating that with self-love.

Diabetes management was easy in the beginning. My health care team praised me, they told me they wished all their patients were like me. I was their star. Great numbers made me feel good about myself and my team made me feel special.

Then slowly diabetes got a lot harder to manage, I became one of those patients, and I was not a star anymore. I felt bad about myself, I felt like a failure.

How can I love myself when I hate a part of me?

I needed to value all of me, including diabetes. I needed to cultivate a respect habit, everything I do, I needed to do with care. The quality of my actions matter, I try to pick up and put down my diabetes care tools with respect.

I try to test my blood sugar purposely and respectfully.

I endeavor to respect every supply I buy, use and dispose of. There is a choice in every diabetes moment, between acting out of love, or out of fear.

Learning and continuing to act with love toward diabetes is my big and small accomplishment.

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Today’s prompt is – Accomplishment, big and small

“We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let’s share the greatest accomplishment you’ve made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small – think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology / etc.). (Thanks to Hilary of Rainie and Me for this topic suggestion.)”

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Written by Pearlsa

May 16th, 2013 at 6:15 am

9 Responses to 'Accomplishments, Big and Small – Diabetes Blog Week 2013'

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  1. This is really powerful and quite an accomplishment! I love this sentence:

    “There is a choice in every diabetes moment, between acting out of love, or out of fear.”

    I want to be able to act out of love too. There’s a huge difference between that and fear.
    Reva recently posted..Diabetes Blog Week Day 4: Accomplishments Big and SmallMy Profile

    Reva

    16 May 13 at 6:26 AM

  2. Thank you @Reva :-)

    Adjoa Pearlsa

    16 May 13 at 8:48 AM

  3. This is a beautiful post…I never really thought about
    there not being any room for hatred when everything is done with respect.
    Thank you for writing this.

    Heidi

    16 May 13 at 11:30 AM

  4. Thanks @Heidi :-)

    Adjoa Pearlsa

    16 May 13 at 1:18 PM

  5. I’m going to have to work on that one. Right now I hate the diabetes, but I could never hate a part of my daughter. Yet… it is who she is. She is a person with diabetes. So rather than thinking what it has taken from her. Perhaps I need to see it as an aspect of her.
    Julie recently posted..What We’ve Accomplished in 67 DaysMy Profile

    Julie

    16 May 13 at 3:01 PM

  6. I too especially love the line about acting out of love or acting out of fear. That is something we can apply to a lot of things that we do!
    Kelly Booth recently posted..Accomplishments Big and Small: Huge for Me!My Profile

    Kelly Booth

    16 May 13 at 4:24 PM

  7. Thanks @Julie. Focus on the positive aspects of diabetes and remember she is a perfect little girl :-)

    Adjoa Pearlsa

    16 May 13 at 5:34 PM

  8. Thank you @Kelly I try to apply it to all areas of my life but I came about it because of diabetes. :-)

    Adjoa Pearlsa

    16 May 13 at 5:35 PM

  9. Powerful post, Pearlsa. Loving ourselves is hard when we deal with so many “tests”.
    Scott K. Johnson recently posted..Powering Through with DiabetesMy Profile

    Scott K. Johnson

    28 May 13 at 10:08 PM

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